Gabriel Kuhn, the author of “The GreatENDENDER” and “EndlessENDENDER”, is a brilliant thinker who challenges conventional thinking and inspires people to think outside the box. In his writing, speaking engagements, and workshops, Gabriel laments the “endender” phenomenon and challenges readers to question their beliefs about identity, labels, and gender. As you may have noticed from reading this blog, I am inspired by many people who live unconventional lives. They don’t just talk about leaving their comfort zones; they do it. These are the people who inspire me to think about life in different ways. And one such person is Gabriel Kuhn. Gabriel has challenged many of my beliefs about society and human behavior through his writing and public speaking. He has also taught me some invaluable lessons through our interactions over the last few years lessons that have influenced my own thinking as well as my relationships with other people.
Don’t fear rejection.
Rejection is inevitable in life. No matter what you do, there will be people who don’t like you or approve of you. The sooner you accept this, the less stressed you will be. Accepting rejection is also important because it helps you build stronger relationships with people who appreciate you as you are. By letting go of the need to please everyone, you release yourself from unnecessary stress and allow yourself to focus your energy on the people who are important to you.
You don’t need to make everyone happy.
We are social creatures, and we love to make others happy. But if you try to make everyone happy, you will end up compromising your own happiness. Don’t let the fear of disappointing others stop you from pursuing your passions and expressing yourself. If you let go of the need to please everyone, you will find yourself being more authentic and confident—and research shows that authenticity and confidence are key to successful relationships.
Life isn’t a popularity contest.
If you are constantly trying to impress people and make an “impression”, you will be miserable. Similarly, if you are constantly trying to look down on other people, you will be miserable. There is no point in comparing yourself to other people and trying to be better than them. It is an endless, meaningless cycle that makes you forget what is important in life. Instead, focus on being your best self and helping others.
Talk to everyone.
People are often afraid to talk to others because they worry they will say the wrong thing or come off as creepy. But the only way to conquer this fear is to jump right in and talk to as many people as you can. Don’t just talk to people you know or people who are like you. Approach people who seem different from you, and challenge yourself to break out of your comfort zone. By talking to different kinds of people, you will learn a lot about yourself and what other people are thinking and feeling. You will also make some new friends along the way.
Build your own identity.
People often let society tell them what they are and what they should be. But no one can define you better than you can define yourself. You don’t need a label to be special or important. And you don’t need a label to be happy. Take your time to reflect on who you are and what is important to you. Challenge yourself to break out of your comfort zone and to be authentic to your own values and beliefs. You don’t need to fit into a box created by other people. You can build your own box.
Confidence is key.
There is a big difference between confidence and cockiness. You can be confident without being cocky. In fact, confidence is essential in life. It helps you overcome your fears, build relationships with others, and achieve your goals. There are many ways you can develop your confidence. And there are many benefits to being confident. So don’t ever let anyone tell you that you are “too confident” or that you don’t belong because of your confidence or swagger.
Help others, and they will help you back.
We often think of helping others as something that only benefits the one being helped. But research shows that the act of giving actually makes the giver happier and healthier. So don’t wait for people to help you. Instead, actively seek ways to help others. And don’t do it for the sake of getting something in return. Instead, do it because it is the right thing to do. And you never know when someone will return the favor. But if you expect nothing in return, you won’t be disappointed.
Don’t label others, and don’t let others label you.
Labels are overused and often harmful. They are used to simplify complex identities into one word. They are used to put people in boxes that may not accurately describe them. And they are used to put people on a hierarchy that has nothing to do with their actual abilities. So don’t label yourself or other people. Instead, be open to learning about and understanding people who are different from you. And let go of the need to put people in boxes and decide who they are and what they are worth.
Stay true to your values and live a life you can be proud of.
Everyone has values and beliefs that are important to them. But many people compromise these values and don’t live their lives according to what they believe is right. Don’t fall into this trap. Stay true to yourself, and you will be able to live a life you are proud of. This will also help you build better relationships with the people who love and support you. Because when you are being authentic, you don’t have to pretend to be someone you aren’t. You don’t have to play the game of trying to please everyone. You can just be you.
Be kind to everyone, but don’t feel guilty when you stand up for yourself.
Being kind to others is important, but it is also important to stand up for yourself. You don’t have to feel guilty about setting boundaries with people who cross your boundaries. You don’t have to feel guilty about not letting people walk all over you. Life is a give and take, but it is important to not forget that you are a human being with feelings and rights. Be kind to others, but don’t let others walk all over you.
Be authentically you.
You are special and have something to offer the world. But you can’t offer anything if you don’t know who you are and what you stand for. So take your time to reflect on your values and beliefs. Challenge yourself to break out of your comfort zone and explore new ways of thinking about the world. And don’t ever feel guilty for being you. Because you are special, and there is no one else in the world quite like you.
The key to happiness is self-acceptance, not perfection.
You don’t need to be a certain way, achieve a certain goal, or have a certain type of relationship in order to be happy. You don’t need to be perfect. In fact, perfectionism is an unhelpful and often very harmful way of looking at the world. It can lead to feelings of shame and guilt, which often lead to depression and anxiety. So don’t feel guilty for being you. Don’t feel guilty for not reaching a goal, or not having a certain type of relationship, or not being a certain way. Instead, be grateful for who you are, and focus on enjoying your life as it is right now.